Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Apple Apps Black Turtleneck Policy

Steve Jobs has leaked that he is preparing to announce that all developers for the Apple App Store must wear approved black turtlenecks when "engaged in the process of development."

In a nod to the Open Source community, "for the time being," wearing jeans is not required.

Most App Store developers responded to the announced rumor positively. "I am kind of surprised that there are developers who don't wear black turtlenecks," said senior programmer Ilphred Linukson of iPhony, which makes Apps that allow iPhone users to know the exact geographic location of Steve Jobs at all times.

However, reactions were less positive when programmers learned that Apple is planning a line of RFID tagged black turtlenecks. "I'm just guessing" said well-known Applelogist Sirius Wormhole, "but to enforce the rule requires either video surveillance or some kind of key device like the RFID tag."

There are also rumors circulating in Cupertino that Apple is negotiating to buy "a small DNA sequencing and electroporation startup." This might be intended to improve both programming skills and sense of style by genetically modifying Apple employees.

Apple employees contacted were giddy at the rumor. "I'd love to be more like Steve," was a typical comment.

No comments:

Post a Comment